Playing Doctor
Legend of legend, hero of heroes, master eccentric and wonderful bloke Tom Baker talks Who, homelessness and the hilarity of religion.
I first met Tom Baker, now 88, when I was six. The year was 1975. My father, who owned a chain of clothes stores called Austin’s Menswear, opened a grand new shop and, to pull in the punters and wring some plugs from the papers, hired my television hero to make the mother of all personal appearances.
When we arrived at the store, a crowd had already gathered outside. And no wonder, because there was the TARDIS, parked in the street for all to see. And suddenly, there too was the Doctor, waving to everyone from the roof, flashing that famous, infectious smile of his, dressed exactly as I saw him on TV every Saturday night. Because HE WAS the Doctor, of course. I had no concept, then, of a bloke called Tom Baker.
Inside, later, I stood beside him and, gazing worshipfully as he signed autographs, asked him question after question about his incredible adventures. Where had he been before he came to my dad’s shop? How difficult was it to drive the TARDIS? Where were Sarah and Harry? And didn’t he ever get hot wearing that scarf?
The shop was heaving with people, all eager to snatch a moment with the Doctor, and yet there I was, glued to his side, conducting my first interview. I remember him looking at me, then the crowd, and then shrugging, booming to the room, “WHO IS THIS KID?!"
It was all very good-natured, of course, and I didn’t mind when everyone burst out laughing. I rather enjoyed the attention, to be honest. And the Doctor was just as wonderful as I’d anticipated. It was pretty much the most magical thing that could ever have happened to a kid, and a memory I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Cut to thirty years later.
It's 2003 and I'm interviewing Tom Baker for The Sunday Express newspaper. Obviously I knew he was REALLY The Doctor. That 'Tom Baker' was merely an alias. But I played along to gain an audience with him, and what follows here is the interview as it then unfolded:
Tom Baker is everything you’d expect him to be. Endearingly eccentric, infectiously enthusiastic and staggeringly honest, he’s funny, engaging and really quite mad. Meeting him is, appropriately enough, like traveling back in time. As a kid I loved his Doctor Who, and today, sitting before him today, I feel equally charmed and disarmed by television’s largest larger-than-life hero.
I’m asking questions but I don’t think Baker can hear me. He’s on an oblivious roll, talking a mile a minute about life, death, fame, sport, art, literature, TV and the stage. Frankly, who would want it any other way?
Within a minute of our meeting he flashes a familiar mischievous glance, smiles broadly and exclaims, “When old ladies see me their bosoms tingle at the emotional memory of hugging their children in front of Doctor Who.” And we’re off…
Baker has a powerful effect on people, and he knows it. “A man stopped me last year and said, ‘Tom Baker?’ I said, ‘Yes’. He said, ‘Look, I just want to tell you… you don’t mind do you?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘When I was young I was brought up in care in North Wales. It was terrible, and, er…’” Baker lowers his voice to a hushed, choked tone. “And, er… you helped on Saturday nights.’ He couldn’t say any more and quickly vanished. He’d made a pretty speech and couldn’t go a step further or he would have broken down. He just wanted to thank me. It was deeply, deeply touching.”
Some fans still believe that Baker, has a touch of magic about him. “This young homeless man asked me for some spare change - I was wondering whether perhaps he was a producer - so I pulled out a pound. He looked at me and said, ‘Christ, Doctor Who!’ I was terribly thrilled even though he smelled a bit, so I took another pound out of my pocket. Then he said, ‘You were my hero.’ By now I had £3 ready to give him, even though there was no one around to witness it.
“So there I was, money in hand, waiting for him to take it, but he didn’t. He kept looking from the money to my face, and eventually said, ‘It’s not the money - can you get me out of here?’ Wasn’t that sad? There I was, his great hero, and all I was doing was offering him three quid. I then had the fantasy of saying, ‘Meet me in half an hour in St Peter’s Square and bring all the other inadequates and I’ll take you somewhere better.’ That was the idea. But really all I could do was give him my spare change.”
As Baker mouths the words “spare change” a tangent presents itself for him to veer along. “What’s so boring about beggars is they have such lousy scriptwriters. They don’t have agents and they copy each other as well. They all say, ‘Got any small change?’ I’ve tried to improve the standards of begging but they won’t listen.”
Shifting mental gears again, Baker reveals how to best avoid reality, a subject with which he’s clearly well versed. “Whether you read terrible shite like Jeffrey Archer or marvellous comic stuff by Charles Dickens, you’re moving into other worlds. TV is also very good for taking your mind off things. But what is the ultimate escape from reality? Dying. And we escape from dying through the fantasy of religion, which denies death. I read the bible a lot, especially the Old Testament, and it really does make me laugh. I adore it.”
I have no idea what to say at this stage, but it doesn’t matter. Baker carries on regardless, insisting that playing the Doctor was the easiest gig he ever had. “It was entirely me. There was no acting involved. I was just Tom saying those lines.”
On his stage career he is equally self-deprecating. “I’ve never been in many good productions really, a bit like my life, which is a bit of shambles.”
Would he consider revisiting the role, in a multiple-Doctor instalment of the Beeb’s current incarnation? “I’d like to be a part of the new series,” he reveals, “but I wouldn’t be interested in playing Doctor Who again. I’d like to come back as The Master. Don’t you think that would be a master stroke?”
Though not as young as he used to be, Baker has the age issue covered. “The BBC will say I’m no longer agile and can’t run up stairs, but I’ll reply, ‘Davros couldn’t run up stairs. Nor could the Daleks. The whole thing about television is someone else can do the running for you.’”
With or without Doctor Who, Baker’s role as the King of Voiceovers keeps him as busy as he wants to be. All that’s left for him to do now is a soap. “I’d like to be in Coronation Street as a Tom Baker character who spends most of his time in the bar drinking large gin and tonics.
"He’s some kind of therapist. The men don’t know what he does while the women will only say, ‘He’s very helpful’. These women go his office looking stressed and depressed, and when the camera pans up to his window you see the curtains closing. Later they open up and the women leave his office looking happy and relaxed.”
What’s your favourite Tom Baker memory?
Another great article. Who doesn’t love Tom Baker. Wouldn’t have minded sharing a jar with him (and Bacon), I know some of his old haunting grounds.